How to avoid intimidating others
You also might’ve had critical or rejecting caregivers, peers, teachers or neighbors; you find anyone who reminds you of those relationships to be intimidating, she said.Hanks often hears clients talk about loved ones as intimidating — anyone from a spouse to an in-law.There's not much to getting past this one except more practice with social and conversation skills so you feel more comfortable in their presence.I think everyone feels a little uneasy and off-balance when they're around those handful of people who just seem to have everything going for them.Why does it feel like they are able to take control of your feelings?Perhaps they are your employer or supervisor and it feels like they hold your career in the palm of their hand. Maybe they are just plain mean and confrontational and you are one of their favorite targets. In a moment I am going to answer that question for you, but there is a good chance you won’t like what I am about to say.
What also helps is improving your own confidence and social skills. It means expressing your thoughts, feelings, needs and wants in a relationship, said psychologist Julie de Azevedo Hanks, Ph. However, many of us have a hard time being assertive with certain people. Maybe it’s someone you perceive as more powerful or even “better” than you.Either way, one thing is clear: You find yourself being passive and unable to speak your truth. According to psychotherapist Michelle Farris, LMFT, “over time, not speaking up makes you feel like a doormat.” This sinks your self-esteem, sets you up to be a victim and makes you feel powerless, she said. “No I don’t.” You may think you’re a pussy cat but you’re not. Practice vulnerability: Unintended intimidation always exists if you have position or power. “I don’t mean to,” is no excuse for unintended manipulation.That’s why I talk about the dangers of living a fear-controlled life so often on this blog (like here, here and here for starters.)While that’s true, there’s one form of fear that I haven’t really addressed up until this point, and it actually might be the most common form of fear that exists. Or more specifically, Before I dive in, a quick disclaimer–I’m not a psychiatrist (obviously), so if you have a legitimate full-blown phobia of other people, then this blog post definitely isn’t for you.